@~20.37 (UTC)
there's possibly a lot more i'd like to write here, but i feel like a tough thing to accept is that you don't 'need to feel' any particular way. it's perfectly normal and reasonable in your situation to feel lots of things at once, nothing at all, or even what can feel like some blend of the two, as crazy as that might sound out loud.
you can be upset that your friend stole your cookies, but happy that they enjoyed eating them, and grateful that they fessed up. we, as humans, are complicated. we're not just 'happy' and / or 'sad'; there are virtually countless emotions we can feel inbetween these states, including ones that can feel like they are blending several together. that's normal and fine.
bittersweetness is a thing, and so is whatever you're feeling right now. it doesn't even need words, as much as it can suck that you might lack them. you don't need anyone else to tell you they are valid, but that can help sometimes, so we can tell you they are. you're feeling these emotions. they're real. they exist. because they're there.
we can take so, so long to properly process these kinds of things, but our brains are very complex 'machines' so can really sometimes need time to churn things through.
i've recently tried a new type of therapy that encourages my brain to properly process things that have been happening to me for, like, over a decade! but after some encouragement, it's finally getting there.
our brains are insanely complex, and i hope you can find the strength in you to let your mind know that everything is okay, and it's okay for it to take time.
your brain, even if it accidentally friendly fires sometimes, is always on your side. it's something i've had to learn and grow accustomed to; it's always on my team, and it's always fighting for me, regardless of how much it has felt like it's hurting me in the past.
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